An Equestrian Grandpa Prepares

Andy and Hiliary have provided photographic confirmation of our New Equestrian To-Be.  It’s a good picture, labeled for our convenience so that you don’t have to turn it sideways or upside down to see what’s going on.

Now it’s time for me to get to work.

First, I get to name the baby. Andy & H said I could. I think I’m going to pick “Ndamukong Suh”, after the Dear Old Packer Stomper himself.  That way, we’re covered whether Baby is a boy or a girl.

For that First Baby Equestrian Toy, I hopped over to Millbrook and as expected, I was greeted with a plethora of choices. I liked this one, but at this stage, I think it’s a little early to put that kind of pressure on the child:

I’m not sure what this thing is. I didn’t like it:

And their living conditions are horrific:

Wandering into the Children’s Section at Millbrook, I found this stuff:

 

 

I finally settled on this guy.  Or maybe it’s a girl, I don’t know. Like The Baby, there are simply no discernible gender features to go by.  Yet.

The tag says “Douglas” but all the tags on these animals say “Douglas” and that’s crap. All horses – even stuffed ones – should have their own names.

I will call him/her, Ndamukong Suh. Because, honestly, I don’t think Andy and H are really going to abide by my decision and I feel a need to name something after him. And Jenny is simply refusing to have any more babies.

I know, I know.  I see the poor conformation and questionable soundness too.  Not only that, but Douglas/Ndamukong Suh appears to have no mouth.  Despite these deficiencies, I am not returning him/her to Millbrook.

He/she can stand watch over the Unnamed Baby while the One-Armed Riders will serve as escorts when the time comes.

I can’t wait.

One for the Head

I hopped over to Millbrook the other the day to buy my helmet.  I picked Millbrook because they’re close, they have a good selection of everything and the people are nice in there.

Yet, I still feel like a fish in a rowboat when I walk into these places alone. I instinctively avoided the English section, my old prejudices kicking up again. I mean, I like English saddles, so you would think I would be over it.

Nope. It took two trips around the store, before I risked entering The Forbidden Zone.  But I’m glad I did, because that’s where they keep the riding helmets. I think they do this on purpose.

They had a good selection all right.  The boxes sported names like “Performance”,  “Sport Riding”, “Elite”, “Olympian”. I wanted a good one, but not one that presumed anything. I didn’t know what the hell to get.

A young store clerk noted my consternation and came to my aid. Her nametag said “Kelly”.

“Are you doing okay?”  I liked that she was concerned.

“I’m not sure.  I’m looking for a riding helmet.” Sometimes you have to state the obvious in order to begin your half of a conversation.

“For your kids?”

“Indirectly it is.  No, actually it’s for me to use.”

Kelly glanced at me and said, “Oh – well, you’ll need one.”

This, I took as a compliment.  Much better than her looking at me and saying, “Ah, don’t bother.”

I nodded. “But I’m not sure what to get.”

“Well, what kind of riding are you doing?”

“I do everything. I just started last year.”

“Well, okay…”

“I want a guy kind of helmet.”

“Well, okay…”

“I’m concerned about the color.”

“Well, here…” Kelly picked up a box labeled “Troxel” and “Schooling”.

I liked the sound of that.

She opened the box and pulled out a brown helmet.

Oh yes.  Perfect. I put it on and looked at Kelly.

She nodded and smiled. “That’s a good look for you.”

Of course, there was a mirror right there. And I had to disagree with her.

“Gawd. I look like a dork.”

Kelly nodded and smiled again. “Yeah, we all say that. They’re helmets.”

That worked for me. Sometimes you have to state the obvious to make somebody feel better. And make a sale.

But really, it’s good to have a real human being on hand at such moments. I know I could have ordered this on-line and had it shipped directly to my front door. But it wouldn’t have come with a Kelly.

When I got home, my advisory committee gave their opinion.

Two paws up.