Category Archives: Uncategorized

A New Colleague at Legacy Stables

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A few months ago, Leoni shared with us her list of things she wanted: a donkey, a shotgun, a cowboy and … actually, I can’t remember all of it and I’m not sure where to look it up. I do recall noting at the time that there was no discernable pattern to this list.

In any case, Leoni got one of the things.

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Luna is five years old and is fully-grown.

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She really seems to like people.  She walked right up to Paul and me.

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However, when Kaiah got a little too close, Luna went at her like blitzing linebacker after a quarterback.  I thought they were just playing, but Karin said no. Luna was actually very serious about the whole thing. Apparently, donkeys don’t appreciate dogs the way we do.

Kaiah keeps her distance.

Kaiah keeps her distance.

Our introduction to Luna set off a rather unproductive conversation regarding donkeys, mules, burros, jackasses and horses and how it all works out. I walked away as confused as ever.

Karin says all the kids love her. Well, of course. I think a lot of the adults do to.

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I couldn’t get over her pretty eyes.

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Someone asked if they’re going use Luna for vaulting. I suppose you could train monkeys as her riders. But who has the time?

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Come to think of it, a monkey may have been on Leoni’s list.  Maybe there’s a pattern there after all.

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For those of you interested in mules-donkeys-burros and how they think, I recommend you take a peek at the delightful blog Brays of Our Lives.

It is written by Fenway Bartholomule, the most handsomest mule you’ll ever see.

And after seeing Luna, City Limits Ranch sent us this photo of Lucy, reported to be the Best Donkey Donks ever:

Lucy, best donkey donks ever.

The Subject of Breathing

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The subject of breathing just keeps coming up. Almost as much as “heels down”.  Almost as much “you need to work on your rhythm”.  Almost as much as “you’re putting that on (backwards) (inside out) (upside down)”.

We all know that proper breathing is a key element for an equestrian. I’ve checked out approximately 4,548 horse riding blogs and every single one of them has mentioned the significance of breathing at least once. Most people say that they just plain forget.  And there has never been a riding book written that failed to toss in a few paragraphs about breathing and why you are doing it wrong.

When you don’t breath, you tense up. And when you tense up, the horse tenses up. And then the instructor tenses up. This leads to the Standard You Need to Remember to Breath Joke as a gentle reminder and to relieve the tension. Everyone laughs and this helps us all breath again.  Of course the effect is temporary and I go right back to holding my breath because something in the lizard part of my brain insists that not breathing is the same as focusing.

Some people recommend Zen techniques. I’ve always liked Zen sort of things, even though I’ve never understood a word of it.  It just sounds nice and relaxing.

Other people recommend “Pilates”. I think this is an exercise sort of thing. However, the first time I heard this term, I thought it referred to something ballet related. Why wouldn’t you?  This led to some discussion regarding tutus and not wearing them and from there went completely off topic.

Then there’s Yoga. I think that has something to do with breathing. But whenever I see a picture of someone doing Yoga it reminds of that sadistic floor game “Twister”.  Hell no.

I’m guessing that Yoga and Zen and Pilates take a lot of commitment and work.  I need a more immediate solution to my breathing problem.  Not too long ago, someone suggested singing as a breathing method.  I like that.  I’m an excellent singer and I think it would add a great deal to my lesson.

Now I have to look up the lyrics to all my favorite AC/DC songs.

Two Paints and a Peanut

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For Lesson #41, Karin gave me the choice between “Instruction in Open Terrain” and another round of double bouncing in circles.

I glanced over at the Future Indoor Arena Area and could tell that there had been some down & dirty estimate measuring going on since last week: an indication that the Future Indoor Arena was coming soon. I knew that between the colder weather and the novelty of a new structure, it wouldn’t be long before we would head inside for months of riding in circles and all the double bouncing I could handle.

An Arena Seed

“Let’s go for a trail ride, Karin.”

I rode Windy, Kathy’s Quarter horse Paint.  Karin chose Cha-Cha, a boarder’s horse. Cha-Cha “just happens to be” another Paint sort of horse.  Whenever I see two Paints together, I always think of it as a fashion statement rather than a coincidence.  Whoever first suggested that women aren’t visually oriented just wasn’t paying close enough attention – and thus most likely male.

The trail ride was fun and Instructionally Useful, as usual.  However, Karin seemed to be having a little trouble with Cha-Cha at first. They were in front of us and they looked more like one of those old electric football game figures that just sort of bounce around in place.

Karin, using Riding Magic, finally got Cha-Cha settled down and the ride became peaceful and uneventful. Just a relaxing jaunt on cool, early autumn morning…

….until we rounded the far side of the cornfield. That’s when the neighing and nickering started. It was a desperate sounding back & forth sort of communication between Cha-Cha and some unseen force in the pasture. That’s how horses do it.  They just sort of lob it up in the air and sure enough, the intended target catches it on the other end. I’ve never understood it.

“That’s her boyfriend,” Karin explained.

When we came into view of the pasture, I looked for a mighty male sort of horse – a stallion I had failed to notice previously or perhaps a gelding who doesn’t know he is. Great Optimism can give you all kinds of ideas.

Of course, I saw no such horse.

“Karin, just who is this ‘boyfriend’?”

“It’s Peanut. And they take their relationship very seriously.”

Which helps explain why Cha-Cha was acting up.

And despite the obvious logistical difficulties, it is unquestionably true love:

Another Win for the Mammals

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The day before New Equestrian Aubrey made her first appearance in the Show Ring of Life, Windy and I got attacked by one of Bea’s relatives. The Tabanus atratus (geek talk for Black Horse Fly) had returned. My patriarchal-protective brain chemicals must have been flowing strong, because that big ugly thing never stood a chance.

Well, maybe not Western.

Karin had to leave early from Lesson #40 to go to a township meeting regarding the construction of the indoor arena. I swear, these local units of government make you jump through more hoops than a border collie at a Westminster Kennel Club dog show. I was still practicing my posting-at-the-trot with Windy and wasn’t quite ready to quit.

“You go on, Karin.  We’ll be just fine.”  And I meant it.

However, before she left, Karin woke up a couple of German girls – vaulters, I think – who had been staying at her house and told them an old man on horse may need their help.

The girls dutifully came out, but I explained that I knew what to do and if I needed any assistance, I would let them know. De-tacking is so much easier than tacking up. And I could tell they hadn’t had breakfast yet.

It was during the de-tacking process that IT appeared. I spotted him/her hovering near Windy’s chest area, if that’s what you call that part. No way was he/her up to any good.

Windy simply look at me as if to say, “Hey, Biped, you’re the one with the free arms and opposable thumbs – do something!”

Protect me, human.

Like in an Obi-Wan Kenobi voice-over, I could hear Karin say: “Kill it Bob!  You must kill it! Kill it now!”

Without further ado, I backhanded the Tabanus atratus and he/she went down like Apollo Creed in the first round of Rocky I.

I think Windy would’ve given me a high-five, but you know, she can’t. But I got some good photo ops before delivering the little monster’s coup de grace.

Tabanus Smooshtus

 

A New Equestrian

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I wanted to report another exciting incident with a horsefly, but instead I’ve been pondering the meaning of “S” in the Equestrian World.  You have “S” for saddle, “S” for stables and “S” for stirrups. And then there is this “S”:

I didn’t even know dressage had an “S”, other than the two buried in the middle of the word.

The reason I’m dealing with “S” right now is because I noticed an “S” on the hat of a new equestrian friend of mine:

She’s Aubrey Marie Dykstra and she weighs in at 7 lbs., 13 oz.  She arrived Friday night  after a nine-month delay.  I am not sure yet whether she’ll be doing English or Western.  But whatever she does, I can guarantee you this: it will involve some kind of saddle.

And no, I’m not going to push it. I will let nature take Her course and allow the child to develop her own interests, naturally without undue grandparental interference.  But I am bringing her this guy tonight:

And no, I’m not going to rush it. We can wait until she’s been home for a week or so before we decide on the English or Western thing.

It’s only the beginning. But my team is ready.

 

Curve Balls and Double Bouncing

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I need to brush up on my grooming skills. It was one of the first things Karin taught me and thus one of the first things I forgot. Well, I didn’t exactly forget it.  I just sort of let the quality of my work slip until grooming became a mindless routine task without proper attention to the details. Like voting.

On Lesson #39 Karin noticed. She pointed to a rough & dirty spot on Windy’s underside.

“That’s the important part, Bob. That’s where the girth goes and if you leave that, it’s going to rub her raw. Remember to do the ‘hand test’.”

So, grooming isn’t just about looking pretty.

But I knew how to redeem myself.  I would dazzle my teacher with Bridle & Bit Brilliance. I had been getting more comfortable with the procedure and now was a good time to show off my skills. I would apply the gear in one smooth, glorious motion. I would hit this puppy out of the park.

However, like Mr. Eastwood, I have trouble with the curve (but I never talk to empty chairs, unless they talk first). In this case, the curve came in the form of an entirely new bridle/bit.  The puppy in question had some kind of chain on it and … the bridle headpiece was not symmetrical!

What madness of was this?  The horse has two ears for Pete’s sake. This thing only had one loop. How does one choose which ear?  I fumbled around with this abomination like a libertarian in a closed primary. Just wasn’t sure where to go with it. I handed the thing back to Karin and watched her apply it in one smooth, glorious motion.

On the riding portion of the lesson, I practice posting at the trot. It’s been a while, but I thought I was doing pretty well.  However, Karin disagreed:

“I don’t think you know it, but you’re double bouncing.”

“Double bouncing? What do you mean by that/that? I’m not/not double anything/thing.”

“You just have to work on getting your rhythm down, Bob. There’s really nothing more I can tell you.”

Then, in a case of instantaneous self-contradiction, she adds, “Try using your leg muscles more.”

This actually worked. I focused on my legs and got the rhythm a little better. However, photographic evidence shows that I’m still having trouble keeping those heels down.

I’ll work on that next time/time.

That’s enough out of you, Chair.

A View of Legacy Stables

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A few weeks ago, Karin’s daughter, Anika asked me to make some kind of sketch of Legacy Stables. Anika resides in Australia. She wanted to get a better perspective of the different areas of the spread that we refer to on Bob the Equestrian.  I thought a sketch was a great idea.

As an artist, I belong to the Stick Figure Genre –  an ancient and respected form of artistic expression with roots in the Neanderthal Age. Below is my effort.

Photos follow with captions describing the orientation of the shot. Hopefully this will give Anika and interested readers in general a better idea of what’s where at Legacy Stables.

Legacy Stables

View from the road, facing west toward the pole barn/future arena site

 

Path along Patterson Road, heading north

From the future arena site toward the access driveway (connects to the main driveway)

“Mount Legacy”. A mound to the south of the future arena site. Only the bravest of the brave dare scale its heights.

In the pasture area, facing north toward the house and tack room.

From the yard area on north side of the house facing west toward the corn field.

Driveway/parking area facing east toward round pen

 

Driveway/parking area facing east toward round pen

 

Far west edge of the property between corn field and woods, facing south

View from round pen, facing west toward the pastures.

Right side of the driveway, facing west. Some apple trees.

 

“Karin’s Raceway” A cleared strip of ground in the middle of the cornfield. Facing north in this shot.

 

In the next post, I’ll deal with such issues as the importance of grooming the underside of the horse, a new & confusing type of bridle/bit and a thing called “double bouncing”.

Knot Fun

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I’ll tell you what, that Windy is a good horse. What she had to endure in the last two lessons while I fumbled my way up the Tack Learning Curve, well, it just about breaks my heart. So patient, so sweet.

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We’re still improvising here at Legacy Stables. Totally expected, it’s a new place. The good news about improvising is that it forces you to learn useful skills you may otherwise have overlooked. On Lesson #39, we learned about something called the “quick release knot.” It’s what we are using in lieu of cross-ties.

I’ve watched Karin do this sort of knot several times now. And I’ve even done it once or twice myself – but in haste and with a weak grasp of the concept that was quickly forgotten in any case.

For me, instruction is basically a race between the words of the instructor and my astonishing capacity to forget what I’ve just been told.  I need to put my hands on it before my head even shows a glimmer of interest.  This is not algebra.

Karin patiently – and repeatedly – demonstrated how you take up the slack in the rope by a series of loops, each loop coming through proceeding loop with the end of the rope appearing thusly:

You can make loops upon loops until your little heart is content. Or until you’re at the end of your rope.

The idea is to allow the human to release the whole shebang with one swift tug, while not allowing the horse to do the same.  Sneaky bi-peds, we are.

I worked on that S.O.B. for a half an hour, long after Paul and Karin went off to the round pen. I did it and undid it, trailing & erroring, cussing under my breath, sometimes over my breath and finally getting it right by mistake.  We’ll see next time if anything useful actually got burned into my brain.

Meanwhile, Windy stood there, not fussing in the least. As I came out my focused fury, I looked at her. Oh, yeah, there’s a horse connected to all of this.

I gave her a carrot.

 

Old Dogs, New Tricks

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I can tell you one thing: I need to start stretching again before my lessons. During our Instruction in Open Terrain stage this summer, I pretty much got away without doing it. But even after the relatively light session in the round pen in Lesson #38, I found myself waddling around for a few days, moaning and groaning like Fred Sanford after a tough day in the junkyard. As before, the soreness began the Day After the Day After. I have yet to hear a good explanation for this phenomenon.

Paul says he stretches every time.  Over the years, Paul has collected a number of bike riding injuries and stretching has become a necessity. With our return to The Pen, it has become a necessity for this old dog as well. At least I’m eligible for Senior Coffee at McDonalds now (details on request).

Both Paul and I had to learn some new things in Lesson #38. Karin gave Paul a lesson on bridling. It was the classic method of explanation, followed by demonstration, followed by return demonstration – with liberal doses of input and interjection by the instructor.

I enjoy watching this sort of thing. At certain points in the process, it becomes a jumble of arms and hands and heads. Sometimes it even appears that human body parts are growing out of the horse.  I like that sort of thing.

Of course while I’m busy watching them, I’m not attending to my task, which is to attach a western saddle to Windy. It’s not really all that complex, but I get hung up on the details. I’ve never done the whole thing from start to finish by myself.

“Karin, I’m stuck!” I’m not sure what to do with the excess strap coming off the girth.

“Keep going, Bob. You’ll figure it out.”

Well, there are only so many places the excess strap can go, so I start Trialing & Erroring it.  Karin walks by and glances at my progress:

“That’s right, just loop it back through.”

“How many times, Karin?”

“You’ll figure it out.”

Dammit. I don’t feel like falling off today. I loop the strap through the ring thing until there’s no more strap to deal with.

“Is this right?”

“You got it, Bob. Now tighten it up.”

“Tighten up” is relative. I want to know which specific hole in the strap to use. And Karin won’t tell me.

“You’ll figure it out, Bob.”

Fine. I’ll pick one at random and see how it goes.

My guess turns out to be wrong. Karin checks my work and tightens the thing to what must be the proper hole because I complete the session still in the saddle with the saddle still on Windy.

Meanwhile, Paul got his first experience with an English saddle. He seemed to like it.

And Karin got Dish TV while our lesson was going on. The Dish TV guy watched us for a bit, politely waiting outside the round pen for a break in the action so that Karin could sign some papers.

He had to wonder what the heck these old duffers were doing on these poor horses.

It’s a long story.

A Fresh Horse

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“I would like you to ride Windy today.”

After nearly five months of Vinnie, Karin decided it was time for me to try a fresh horse.  So I spent Lesson #37 on Windy, Kathy’s Quarter horse Paint. If that’s the right way to say that. These color breed classifications sure do muddy the waters when it comes time to report what kind of horse you’ve been on.

Windy

In any case, I trusted Karin’s decision to make the change. You learn to rely on your instructor’s deep pockets of wisdom and experience. I imagined Karin, the night before, pouring over her notes and charts like a baseball manager, pondering head-down-in-hands like Lawrence of Arabia into the wee hours of morning before her eyes light up with the epiphany:  Aqaba. Or in this case: Windy.

Or maybe she was just tired of me complaining about Vinnie. And vice-versa.

Actually, Vinnie and I depart on good terms. He was a perfect gentleman for Lesson #36 and we worked together beautifully in the Epic Ride to Nowhere. We always got along pretty well on the trail anyway.  And really, we’re not actually departing. I’m sure we’ll have more adventures together before the snow hits.

But for Lesson #37, it was Windy. And Windy is an absolute sweetheart.  She’s around 15/3 hands (if that’s the right way to say that), so a good size for me and very easy to ride. Kathy told me that she has a “slow trot” and a “fast trot”.  We did the slow trot this time.

It was a slow trot kind of morning anyway.  Karin had us in the round pen and I would have been content just to walk around in circles with my new friend. It was one of those perfect late summer mornings, the heat and humidity having lifted earlier in the week, a gentle breeze caressing us as we ambled around the pen.

There is just something about Willow trees as September approaches.